Sophomore Alena Kononenko can still remember the moment she knew her life would never be the same, she said. She felt awful, sitting in a silent car in a mall parking lot with her mom and sister, freshman Uliana Kononenko, she said.
The Kononenko sisters are half-Russian and half-Ukrainian immigrants. When Russian President Vladimir Putin declared war on Ukraine in February earlier this year, all Alena could think of was her family in both Russia and Ukraine, Alena Kononenko said.
In 2014 their mother, Elena Kononenko, was arrested for protesting in Russia and given a choice to work for the government or disappear, Uliana Kononenko said. The family instantly packed their bags and left for America, she said.
“My dad’s Ukrainian, and I just remember looking to him for a sign of emotion, almost if it was okay to cry,” Uliana Kononenko said. “What I saw was how calculated he was, already booking flights and doing whatever he could to keep his family safe.”
Growing up in Russia, the sisters grew up with a keen awareness of Russian animosity towards Ukraine. Uliana Kononenko is proud to be a Russian immigrant, and until 10 months ago, she had never identified as half Ukrainian, she said.
“I feel like I’ve earned that identity now,” Uliana Kononenko said. “I feel terrible when I get caught up in my life twelve hours away and stop thinking about the war. The constant worry I have counts for something.”
The day after the invasion began was the most stressful, Alena Kononenko said. The constant barrage of photos, videos, and articles reminded her of her inability to help her family in Ukraine, she said.
“For a day and a half, we couldn’t get a hold of them, and I didn’t know if I just lost half of my family right then and there,” Alena Kononenko said.
Thankfully, her family in Kyiv fled to the Polish border as soon as the news of the invasion broke, but hit a roadblock when trying to bring the Kononenkos’ grandmother along, Alena Kononenko said. Her grandmother stayed in Ukraine for two weeks before she left for the Polish border, she said.
“My grandma was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t even put on her shoes,” Alena Kononenko said. “She couldn’t imagine leaving the country she grew up in.” At the Polish border, Kononenko’s grandmother was met with the shocking scenes of a cratered Poland, where she faced bomb threats that required her to lay on a cold bathroom floor for 72 hours on end, Alena Kononenko said.
“A building near my grandmother’s home was just a giant hole after being bombed, ceiling and wires sticking out,” Alena Kononenko said. “Anyone laying down in their bathrooms was dead.”
The Kononenkos’ aunt, cousins, and grandma have lived with her family in Milpitas for six months now, she said. Her uncle is required to stay back in Ukraine to serve in the military if he is called into active duty, a harrowing situation the Kononenko family is too familiar with, Alena Kononenko said.
When Kononenko’s other uncle was recently drafted, the family sent a package filled with helmets, jackets, bulletproof vests, guns, and ammo they bought in California, Alena Kononenko said. Both the Russian and Ukrainian forces are losing men, supplies, and training as the winter rages on, she added.
“These are shop clerks, teachers — just anybody who is in that age group (18-60) gets thrown out there without training, like pawns in some stupid game,” Alena Kononenko said. “You have to really hope that they don’t just die.”
To cope with the situation, the Kononenko family has contributed as much as possible to the war effort, she said. Driving a minivan full of war supplies from London to Ukraine and straight through enemy territory, Kononenko’s father directly supported the Ukrainian army in the most surreal way imaginable, Alena Kononenko said.
After immigrating to New York, Uliana remembers living out of a closet fashioned from Amazon boxes and zip ties, wanting more than anything to return to Russia, she said.
“Now I know that was the best decision we could make,” Uliana Kononenko said. “I think I was so adamant to go back because in Russia, all I heard at school and on TV was how amazing the country was,” she said.
Senior Yael Shpits, who is Russian and Ukrainian and grew up in America, said she believes that all conflict between Russia and Ukraine is always exacerbated by media and Putin’s autocratic ruling.
“Everyone has to understand that people like my uncle in Russia are not the ones that back this war,” Shpits said. “The Russian media tells people everyday that they are taking back their rightful land and getting rid of the Ukrainian Nazis.”
Hosting refugees for the past ten months with her family, Shpits is deeply aware of the extent of Russian propaganda, even though she has never been on the receiving end, she said.
“One of the refugees my family helped out was employed to remove capitalist propaganda in Disney movies,”Shpits said. “Americans have access to basically any internet source, and all the information that Russians have is manipulated and biased.”
Pledging allegiance to a picture of Putin every morning and having history lessons on global events like World War II that indoctrinated a deep-seated hatred for Germans and Americans were just parts of daily life at school in Russia that contributed to immense brainwashing, Alena Kononenko said.
“I was proud of being Russian and told everyone that I moved here, I overcame things, and I can speak a different language,” Uliana Kononenko said. “Then, in the sixth grade, I was bullied about being a ‘Russian spy,’ and that woke me up to the public view of Russians.”
Uliana Kononenko said that the current conflict has led to uncomfortable discussions, most in the form of well-meaning support.
“I was talking to one of my teachers and told her I’m Russian-Ukrainian. She asked me, ‘How’s the whole war going?’” Uliana Kononenko said. “It’s not really a casual conversation topic, but with the news and everything, people just don’t make the connection that it’s real people behind the damage you see on TV.”
Alena Kononenko’s counselor called her in one day, informing her that other students were spreading rumors that she supported Russia’s invasion, she said.
“I felt so betrayed because half of my family could have been dead on the ground,” Alena Kononenko said. “How dare you think I would support that?”
Russians and Ukrainians are not the only ones affected by the war, Alena Kononenko said. Putin’s Russia is fearsome because he is a humiliated man with nothing to lose, she said.
“Pay attention — even if it’s not hurting you now, it will soon,” Alena Kononenko said.