If you’ve used social media at all over the past year, you probably know all about the “performative male,” which has been a recently rampant meme. They’re usually depicted listening to Laufey, Clairo, and Beabadoobee on wired earbuds, carrying a tote bag with a Labubu attached, and drinking matcha. They specifically pander to popular trends among women and attempt to appear as gentler and more feminist men.
Society mocks them as surface-level fans of feminine hobbies who deliberately display them in public to attract women. It’s true that there are many men who may follow the stereotype solely to attract women. However, the trend has slowly lost this meaning, eventually becoming a way to laugh at any guy doing any “feminist” activities. The popularity and specific nature of the trend reveal a significant amount about the rising acceptance of manosphere viewpoints and gender role prejudice.
The manosphere refers to the varied online media that promote hypermasculinity and misogyny. It exists in the form of podcasts, street interviews, and more, and usually includes a group of men explaining their life experiences and giving advice on how to best “pick up” women or make money.
Their content panders to young, impressionable, and insecure men who feel personally attacked by the feminist movement and aim to reaffirm their identity as men. They attempt to emulate online personalities, and begin to objectify the women in their own lives and view them as inferior.
Over the past few years, this content has become increasingly popular and has thoroughly and exceedingly shaped the mindsets of many young men. The manosphere has seeped into the general views of society, and we have unconsciously become rigid about gender roles. The “performative male” trend perfectly demonstrates the effect of this mindset shift.
Why is a specific drink, music style, and clothing style inherently feminine and liked by women? The trend diminishes women who do not enjoy these trends and may act in other ways. It subtly puts women into a box.
Another harmful aspect of the “performative male” is its deep connection to capitalism and trend cycles. Suddenly, aesthetic and personal choices such as drinking matcha and listening to indie music have become marketable identities. Social media and fast-paced trend cycles strips all authenticity from these hobbies.
Although the “feminist man” aesthetic may have once been considered progressive, the moment it became a meme, brands and popular social media accounts turned these traits into products.
Once the meme became so popularized, people began to easily ridicule anyone who adopted its associated traits. The trend cycle makes it almost impossible for men to engage sincerely with anything associated with femininity.
At the same time, it reinforces the idea that masculinity should be separated from consumer trends tied to softness and care. Capitalist systems profit off of gender stereotypes and mock those who subvert them.
It creates an incredibly strict idea of what a masculine person should be: someone who does not enjoy or “flaunt” anything feminine. The trend also discourages emotional openness, creativity, and individuality, qualities essential for human connection but labeled as weak or “feminine” when expressed by men. Due to the trend, many individuals have jokingly taken pictures of guys in public, posting them online to make fun of them for being performative.
The trend has made it embarrassing for men to do anything perceived as outside of their gender role. Any guy who might have enjoyed these generic hobbies and dressing style would now be seen as trying to appeal to women. It implies that there is a default way for guys to dress that isn’t embarrassing and performative.
In the world currently, people who have challenged their gender roles are already in a state of fear and constant attack. It is saddening but not surprising that the current dominant trend of the “performative male” is one that reaffirms gender roles and puts down those who break them.
