Everyone’s been there — mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, eyes glued to the screen that is filled with people you want to be. While scrolling, questions tend to arise in people’s minds, such as “Why don’t I look like that?” and “Should I act that way too?”
The need to conform starts from the mere-exposure effect, a phenomenon in which people develop a preference for familiar people or views around them, psychology teacher Lauren Byler-Garcia said.
“That’s actually the problem; it’s not really how they look,” Byler said. “We want to be like everybody else, even though there’s that idea of ‘who really gets recognized for being normal.’ We’re all striving to look the same and be what we consider normal.”
Growing up surrounded by different beauty standards can be harmful to children and make them feel the need to conform, junior Kimmie Deroze said.
“Seeing all of that can damage you and change how you think of yourself,” Deroze said. “Some people try to fit in with the use of (beauty) products. It’s a bad way to make money.”
There is an increased exposure to conventionally attractive people through social media, junior Nidhi Bhat said.
“From what the algorithm feeds you when you see pretty people, it boosts your urge to look like them or want to be them,” Bhat said.
The increased use of social media also gives people an opportunity to criticize others’ facial features and body types, Bhat added.
“It goes the two ways of ‘Wow, they’re really pretty. I want to be like them. I want to be them,’” Bhat said. “And also ‘Wow, they’re really pretty. I’m envious of them to the point where I will think that they’re not pretty or feel like I have the right to judge them.’”
People are so concerned about fixing their own imperfections that they forget their own natural beauty, Deroze said.
“It is a poor reflection on society that there is so much pressure to look a certain way,” Bhat said. “I think it’s just sad that we have to change ourselves.”
Beauty standards impact adults as well, Byler added. Adult women have a stronger societal obligation to appear younger and fitter, as shown by the various anti-aging products and diet ads online, she said.
“There was a time in which people like Madonna were ultra-thin, and now she has a fit look to her,” Byler said. “Even Beyoncé felt the pressure to lose all this weight, so she became a vegan. There is nothing wrong with veganism, but it (beauty standards) still encourages these extreme dieting techniques.”
Beauty is different for everyone, but finding a middle ground can help a person grow and feel comfortable within themselves, Byler added.
“At what point are you going to not feel guilty and shameful over how you look, while still feeling like you’ve met some of the standards society expects?” Byler said.
Self-love doesn’t necessarily relate to the way you look, but can relate to the way you write or create art, Byler said.
“The grass is greener where you water it, so you need to work on watering your grass and stop focusing on the grasses in other yards because you never know when they’re going to experience a drought,” Byler said.