While the movements surrounding feminism and its goals have changed over the past centuries, the basic tenets remain the same: to achieve equality. To achieve that equality is impossible without deconstructing the patriarchy, and deconstructing that patriarchy is impossible with the rise of “choice feminism” and its use to justify exploitative or traditional roles. “Choice-feminism” is the belief that any action that a woman takes is inherently feminist because she had the ability to take that action on her own
In recent years, the “trad-wife” lifestyle has been increasingly normalized on social media platforms. Content creators such as The Ballerina Farm advertise the role of a traditional housewife, raising children and giving up their careers to be a trad-wife, sometimes while living in the countryside.
In stark contrast, sex work has also become more normalized, as social media influencers such as Sophie Rain flaunt the wealth that they’ve gained from selling explicit content of themselves. Even though those two lifestyles appear to be exact opposites of each other, the lifestyles are anything but feminist or empowering.
But what’s more concerning is that people, primarily women, defend these social media influencers because the women had the freedom to pursue these kinds of lifestyles, and some even go as far as to claim that criticizing “trad-wives” or “OnlyFans models” is “not feminist.” Because, according to these same people, true feminism is women having the ability to be empowered through having the freedom to do whatever they want, even if it means preserving the harmful stereotypes that created feminism in the first place.
Sex work and traditional household roles—whether you choose to put yourself in that place—are not feminist because they are a product of the patriarchy. Advertising, defending, or assuming those lifestyles is a disservice to actual feminism.
I’m not saying that the women who are in the sex work industry or who choose to be stay-at-home moms are anti-feminist or harbor internalized misogyny. Certain circumstances may force women to take up these roles; a woman might have to take care of her children because she can’t afford a nanny, or another woman might be trafficked into sex work. But there is a clear line of playing the part of a submissive wife and a hard-working mom. I’m merely suggesting that women and girls should reevaluate the way we perceive these content creators and their lifestyles and realize that they’re not feminist.
